Some definitions that cracked me up
Baby - An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.
Sweater - Something you put on when you mother gets cold.
Father - A guy who is working his son’s way through college.
Careful Driver - One who looks in both directions when he passes a red light.
Friend - Someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.
Husband - What's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.
I took them from here
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